Social anxiety is tragic. It can be confused for shyness or been introverted but far from it, it’s horrible, it’s worse than I can actually make it sound. I will give you ask example:
Today, I was walking in the mall, pretty random thing and easy thing to do right? That mall was not fully packed as always so you would expect I would have little to no problem going about my businesses. When I first walked I literally felt as if everyone was staring, I could feel their eyes at the back of my neck. My heart was racing at this point, my mind was doing 360 rollercoaster rides at this point. I felt them judge me, how I walked, what dress I wore, what shoes I wore, what was inside my bag. I began sweating, mind you the mall is always freezing, this people set the temperature to zero.
I kept trying to calm myself down, trying to ease my mind, control my thoughts, I put on music and head sets to block out the racing thoughts did not work either, but, at the end of the day I just hurriedly ran my errands so fast, I could win the Olympics then ran off the mall to my safe haven.
I only get this feeling when am alone in a social gathering or any place where I know noone. I should mention I don’t have alot of friends because I can’t stop having racing thoughts even with them and those I have only few I can talk to without feeling like my brain will explode.
So what is social anxiety to me? It’s something not discussed in my birth country, it’s almost none existent, only due to the fact that not many know of it or see it as a problem. Anyway, that’s me when am alone. Going through life with positivity.
With love, Nelly
Categories: self improvement